Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Unwavering faith, strength and compassion

It seems only a few weeks ago that I heard the news of the return of a dread disease that has taken a dear friend Home.  Today, we celebrated the Mass of the Resurrection and prayed for the repose of her soul.


Funeral homily for Michelle Falcioni

David, Tammy, Dave and Tony, we have all come to pray with you and your family this morning as together we entrust Michelle’s eternal soul into the loving arms of our God.

The gospel passage that was chosen for today’s celebration describes a series of characteristics – ideals to which all of us who seek to be disciples of Jesus aspire. Perhaps it is fitting that I should use some of these to guide my recollection of the life we have shared with Michelle, and some of the wisdom that she has entrusted to us.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Mt 5:3)
For the benefit of those who may not know how I came to be standing here, I was much younger, and had more hair when I first met Michelle and David Falcioni and their three children. I was assigned to the parish where they lived in Sudbury for an internship year during the time when I was a seminarian. Saint Andrew the Apostle was a large and very busy parish at the time, so although I had seen them come into the church on many occasions, it wasn’t until one day in late October or perhaps it was early November when Michelle and I met in the parish office. She wanted me to come to dinner, but I must admit that it took more than a few moments to find a date that worked.. I flipped my calendar from one day to the next, feeling an increasing need to apologize for not being able to find a free evening, and then she spoke. With a calmness that I would discover as a defining characteristic of hers, she merely stated: We eat every day, just pick one.

That first meeting in the Falcioni home - my first introduction to the love and joy that characterizes this wonderful family - took place a few weeks before Christmas. Seated around the table, we shared Michelle’s famous lasagna, made with homemade noodles, and told stories. Before long, we had agreed that I would share some of my family’s recipes for Chinese food, and in return they would share some recipes for the Italian and French cuisines that are near and dear to the hearts and the stomachs of everyone who has ever entered their home. If the kitchen table could talk, it would recount many a tale of the joys and sorrows that have been shared by those who sat there.

Only people who are truly comfortable in their own skin: people who have experienced the joy of deep abiding love; people who have experienced the truth that love can never be kept in a selfish way (cf 1 Cor 13:4), but must always be shared, are able to welcome strangers so freely and instantly make them feel right at home. It is a gift that I for one received from them on many occasions; one that I have always remembered and cherished.

Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted (Mt 5:4)
At the heart of every home, there is a mother’s heart, and Michelle’s heart was always open. Even without a spoken word, everyone who knew her realized that her heart was bursting with love. Her mere presence conveyed strength. She was always a woman of deep faith and courage. I still remember the day that I left the house in Sudbury to return to the seminary. Michelle made the sign of the cross on my forehead; and I remember the day she and David blessed their daughter with the same silent gesture at the day of her wedding - and they also blessed Doug on that day because he was now also part of the family. Michelle always had a word of wisdom for those who sought guidance, and she seemed to have an endless capacity for compassion, an ability to always look for the positive in everything and to share all that she had with boundless generosity, thoughtfulness and love.

The challenge for someone who dares to make herself so vulnerable is that she was never sure about how long she would have to cherish the blessings that God sent her way, but she would never let such concerns show. We may never know how much she worried about us, or suffered when the relationships she had built were changed, yet it is the heart that has been tested that knows best how to celebrate the passing happiness of this world and to look forward to the everlasting happiness of heaven.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Mt 5:8)
Michelle taught us all by her own example how to be people of principle. She was always a woman of her word. She loved nothing more than to spend time spoiling others, laughing and sharing stories, feeding people from the stove as well as from the wellspring of her heart, but she didn’t suffer fools lightly. Anyone who has ever been hit by one of her flying shoes or by the famous wooden spoon will attest to the truth of this fact.

Michelle's concern for others was learned from her mother. I never met her, but I remember Michelle speaking about her, and describing her as one who was always a very practical, down-to-earth woman - the salt of the earth. I think that she inherited that trait too. Michelle's heart was also shaped by the experiences she shared with her siblings, with her beloved husband, her cherished children and with every one of her precious grandchildren, as well as nieces and nephews and the countless others she always willingly ‘adopted’. Each person she met soon discovered in her a living example of love: she was truly patient and kind (1 Cor 13:4) with everyone (unless you happened to do something to make her doubt your integrity). She was always proud of other people's achievements but she was never boastful about her own. She would never use words to speak ill of anyone; but she would also never use words to seek her own will to the neglect of others (cf 1 Cor 13:5).

God has called Michelle Home far too soon for all of us who have known and loved her, yet the Book of Wisdom tells us that the righteous … will be at rest (Wis 4:7). Our hearts and minds cannot comprehend this truth at the moment. We are here today to give thanks for all that we have known and loved in the time that has been given to us to share a part of our journey with Michelle. From her place at the heavenly table, I am sure that she is gazing at us with that knowing look of hers. If she could speak in words that we could hear, she would tell us: God’s grace and mercy are with you … he is watching over you (Wis 4:15). Go out into the world, live each day as a gift, love with abandon and whatever happens, do your best; that’s all that counts.

A mother is always the key to the heart of a family.  Michelle also taught us by her example and by her faith to go to Mary whenever we needed help or wanted to be sure that our prayers would be heard by her son.  Let us ask Mary to accompany Michelle and to comfort us with the assurance of faith.  Hail Mary ....

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